London.

At the end of August, I packed my suitcase and headed down south to stay with my friend Gemma for a few days. She lives just outside London, so we had a couple of exciting days planned. I had previously only been to London twice before, and even then I didn't get to spend too much time there so I was looking forward to seeing our fabulous capital city, and of course spending quality time with Gem.

I arrived on Thursday afternoon, after a 2 hour train journey sitting next to women eating tuna sandwiches and cheese and onion crisps which nearly made me hurl. We spent the rest of the day around her town and chilling. After watching a film, we had an early (ish) night as we were up early the next day.

We got into London for around Nine-ish on Friday morning and waited outside Victoria Palace Theatre to get Billy Elliot day tickets (we were there so early, we were first in the queue and got front row seats!). I am so glad we did this though as we saved ourselves a lot of money! Next we hopped back on the tube and headed to Westfield Stratford City where we spent the rest of the day. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the size of the place and the number of shops! I thought the Trafford Centre was big but this is just another level. As a self confessed nail polish addict, my favourite shop had to be the Models Own bottleshop. We ate dinner at Pizza Express which satisfied my cravings for pizza and garlic bread which I have had for the past couple of weeks.

Billy Elliot was an absolutely amazing show. I have not seen a West End show before but after seeing Wicked on Broadway, the bar was set high. I would say it hit that bar and I was excited to get home and download the soundtrack. The boy that played Billy was a true star, and I have never seen someone that young dance so well!

On Saturday, we went into London for a day of Sightseeing. We went on a Hop on Hop off Bus tour which was really good. We started off at Baker St, and the bus took us around most of the sights, and even included a river cruise which was my favourite part of the day. We also briefly went into the National Gallery before walking down the Mall to Buckingham Palace (the plan was to see the changing of the Guards but unfortunately it wasn't happening on that day), popped into Topshop Oxford Circus (Oh. My. God. It was amazing), Hamley's and Liberty, had a walk down Southbank and went into the Natural History Museum to look at the Dinosaurs. In the early evening, we ate dinner at Nando's before heading back to Gem's house knackered.

Before going home on Sunday evening, Gem's dad took us both to TopGolf in Watford. It was a bit like a driving range with massive targets and you got points depending on where your ball landed in respect to the target. It was a really cool place and I wished we had something like it at home.



It was sad to say goodbye to Gem as I got on the train, and I felt really subdued the whole journey home. I had a fabulous time and it has made me even more excited to live with Gem back at uni in a couple of weeks time! ♥

for more pictures, check out my flickr

august in instagram

tough liquid diet decisions | drawing in my moleskine | watching disney films in bed | first relatively normal picture since surgery | with some of my family at my uncles 70th birthday party | off to london | with gem at westfield | the tube | cruise down the river thames 

jaw surgery; 6 weeks on

I apologise for this post being 6 weeks and a day on, however I have been to the hospital this afternoon and wanted to keep you updated on what occurred there. I was hoping that they would let me take my elastic bands off my brace, but unfortunately they haven't. Instead I've been given elastic bands of a different size and I'm going back again in 4 weeks. Hopefully they will take them off then as they are annoying me so much; I don't know how something so small can be so irritating!

As you can see, my face looks pretty much normal now, although I still have a little swelling under my chin and along my jaw line, but that is to be expected considering what the procedure actually entailed. I have seen a video on youtube of someone else undergoing the same procedure as myself, and even as a person that is not usually bothered by things like that, I did feel a little squeemish and astonished with how rough they can be. For those who are interested, you can watch the video here, but I do warn you, it's gross and not for the faint hearted.

Other than the swelling, I am pretty much back to normal. I no longer get tired, I have very little pain anymore although my jaw still feels a little fragile, and I am over the moon to say that I can eat normal meals again. Eating takes a long time as chewing is weird with my new bite, but I am improving. Hopefully now I can start to put some of the weight that I lost in those first few weeks back on. I had a bit of pain last week after my mum elbowed me in the jaw accidentally but that has thankfully gone now and no lasting damage was done. My chin is and lower lip is still slightly numb, but my folliculitis is getting better and the rash is clearing up nicely.

In these past 2 weeks I have seen a lot of family, and most of them were amazed with a) how much of a difference the surgery made and b) how quickly the swelling has gone down in such a short space of time. Both are something that I too am impressed with. I would also like to thank my family and friends for all the support they have given me over these past weeks, without which I wouldn't have been half as optimistic about my recovery as I have been.

Six weeks post op seems to be a pretty big milestone, as this was the period I was told originally that things would seem like normal. I am absolutely made up with the results of surgery and already my confidence is on the up. I would certainly go through it all again for the same results!

jaw surgery; 4 weeks on

It's scary to think that my operation was nearly a whole month ago! Time in some ways has flown by, as it only seems like yesterday that I was shaking in the anaesthetic room without being put to sleep without being told. However, I do feel as if I have been swollen, sore and generally run down for a lot longer. It's funny how time drags when you feel like poop.

More improvements again this week, as life starts to be slowly getting back to normal. I have a lot more jaw movement now, so can smile more naturally, laugh without being in pain. and chew a bit more, although the latter still hurts. It also hurts when I yawn, sneeze or cough. Looks wise as well I look a lot more like me again (minus wonky jaw and "bad side"), however I still do have a bit of swelling still. I finally feel ready to start doing more things with my days, as simple tasks such as popping to the supermarket with dad no longer tire me out. I have still been bored, but a trip to see my cousins last week certainly cheered me up!

I am still suffering though. There is a constant dull throb in the areas where my jaw bones were cut which, while bearable, is annoying, and those pesky elastic bands keep catching the inside of my mouth creating ulcers. Also, I went to the doctors last week after developing a rash along my jaw line, under my chin and around my neck. I was concerned as it was really itchy and localised to the area of surgery. Not only that but I'm pretty sensitive, being allergic to antibiotics and some detergents which give me a similar rash. The doctor diagnosed it as folliculitis (inflammation of the hair follicles) and prescribed me some cream. She thinks it could be a reaction to the iodine or some sort of soap they used to scrub me up before surgery, hence why it is on my neck. The cream hasn't really improved the appearance of it yet, but its got rid of the itching thankfully!

jaw surgery; 3 weeks on

Another week, and more improvements. I wouldn't say there has been a reduction in the swelling since last week, but I have a feeling this last bit is going to take an age to go down. Everyone I have seen this week though has commented on how well I'm looking, and what a difference they can see in my face.

I saw the orthodontist last Wednesday, and he was happy with my progress. He was even surprised with how well I am looking considering I was then, only 2 weeks post surgery. He has got me changing my elastic bands twice a day, which I prefer as I feel more supported when I have fresh ones. I also got my hands on some more brace wax which has done my ulcers wonders.

A big breakthrough this week is that I have started chewing again! Granted its only soft stuff like over boiled vegetables, but it feels nice to be able to start to use my new jaw. I've been eating the same food as mum and dad but blitzed up so it's got the consistency of mush, but it's tasty and hopefully I won't lose any more weight.

Towards the latter part of this week though, I have been feeling really fed up. It's irritating how whenever I see people, they always look at my face to see how its improving, and ask how I'm feeling etc. While it's nice to know they care, I just wanted to be treated like normal again; a human rather than a face. Boredom has also set in, and I am at a loss with what to do with myself. I'd really love to go on a bike ride but I just know it would knacker me. It's really hard to find things to do which don't involve exercise or eating (or spending money) which get me out of the house. I'm even becoming bored of the Sims, which I thought would never happen! Yesterday I booked tickets to London to stay with Gem for a few days at the end of the month which has given me something to look forward to!

july in instagram

sunny day at the beach | nicholl's famous ice cream | gem's visit | after jaw surgery | get well soon flowers from my uncle stan | throwback thursday to celebrate mamma's birthday

jaw surgery; 2 weeks on

What a difference a week makes. It's safe to say that this week I have come on leaps and bounds in terms of recovery. The majority of the swelling has gone down, that awful bruise is deciding to pack its bags and leave, and more importantly, I feel like myself again - mum's been complaining that I've gone back to my witty self.

Being able to wear thinner elastics on my brace and change them myself has done the world of good. I'm able to open my mouth a lot more, meaning I have been able to eat a lot more. I've managed a chilli con carne, cottage pie, and blitzed up curry and stir fry. I'm still unable to chew as my teeth are really sore, however I've eaten more than I thought I would be at this stage, and its made me feel a lot more happier as I'm not hungry and grumpy anymore.

I am however still feeling fatigued, and feel absolutely drained if I do too much. It's hard to tell where my limit is though, as it tends to hit me out of the blue. It's nothing a nap can't sort out, but I hate sleeping in the day as it sends me nocturnal. Anaesthesia has certainly messed up my body clock good and proper. People keep telling me to take it easy as my surgery was only 2 weeks ago, but its very hard to do nothing when you feel ok and want to do things.

I'm also getting the sensation back in my bottom lip and chin. Surgery damaged the large nerves which supply this area so I've been numb ever since. I was aware of this before hand so was expecting it, and its been quite cool to be able to touch my lip with something and not feel it. Getting the feeling back though is turning out to be worse than I thought. While I was numb, my brace and brace hooks have rubbed the inside of my mouth raw because its been so swollen and I have been completely unaware. It's only now that I'm getting the pain. Thank god for bonjella!

I'm due to go back to the hospital tomorrow to see my orthodontist and surgeon. Hopefully they will both be as happy about my recovery as I am - I never thought I would be feeling this good just 2 weeks post op!

jaw surgery; 1 week on

Spookily, today marks exactly one week since my jaw surgery. This week has literally flown by, probably because I have spent most of it asleep. Since my last post, I definitely feel on the mend: the swelling has gone down quite a bit (even though I'm still resembling Mrs Potato Head), the bruise has developed on my chin, neck and upper chest, and I am regaining some feeling in my lower lip and chin.

this evening, trying to smile

More importantly, I am beginning to feel more like myself. On Sunday, I had a really tough day. I was fed up, had no appetite, and mum and dad were fussing over me too much. I wasn't in much pain, but I just wanted everything to go back to normal. Mum mashed up a roast dinner for me, which I really really enjoyed, and for the first time since surgery, I was full. Following the night before's acheivements, I woke up yesterday with a really positive attitude. It was also the first morning I woke up not feeling groggy or hazy since the anaesthetic. I had a review at the hospital, and they seemed impressed with my progress and the swelling. They also let me try changing my elastic bands myself, which I managed, meaning the elastics I have now are a lot thinner and allow me to open my mouth a little wider. I even managed to eat a bag of quavers which satisfied my palate!

I have been touched and slightly overwhelmed by the kindness of my family and friends sending cards and get well presents. My uncle came to visit me on Saturday which brightened my spirits. It was lovely to talk about family, which has grown ever important to me since going to uni. Two of my friends Abbie and Becky came to visit yesterday, making it probably the best day since being discharged. We reminisced about old times, talked about the future, and I shared my hospital stories. It was generally lovely to see them, and really helped my positive attitude.



Today has been a little harder, as I have felt a lot more lethargic, probably overdoing it a bit yesterday. I managed to eat some cottage pie that had been blitzed a bit, which has cheered me up (and filled me up!), and haven't resisted the need to sleep. I feel I am making progress towards recovery, but would rather take small steps rather than leaps at the moment. After all, it has only been a week.

jaw surgery; 4 days on

Monday night was restless. The heat didn't help, but it was what was playing on my mind that was keeping me awake: the fact that this time in 24 hours, I would have a new face, and probably be in a lot of pain. Because Tuesday was the day of my Jaw Surgery.

I was admitted to hospital at 7am. My mum and dad were asked to leave not long after, and I waited to be called in to see the nurse, who went through my paperwork and took blood from me. I met the anaesthetist, and 2 maxillofacial surgeons who would be assisting the operation. I was then sent to the pre-op lounge to wait to be called up to theatre. Needless to say that was probably the longest hour and a half of my life.

I was shaking as I walked down to the anaesthetic room, and as I lay on the bed I couldn't control my body. The anaesthetist gave me 2 shots of tranquilliser  before putting me to sleep without telling me. Next thing I remember is coming round in recovery and really needing the loo! I must have been a stroppy cow to the nurses whilst coming round; I was moaning about needing my glasses, and wanting to walk to the toilet (something which they refused).

Eventually I was moved to the ward and reunited with my bag and glasses. I was still in relatively little pain at this point, but really wanted to see what I looked like. Out popped my phone and I took a selfie:

Regardless of the swelling and blood on my face, I was already made up with the results. My chin was in the centre, and for the first time in a long time, all my teeth touched when I bit together.

My surgeon and the anaesthetist visited me on Tuesday evening, and were impressed with both my alertness and level of swelling. I felt quite "with it", and was in relatively little pain. My mum and dad visited me, and I managed to eat some jelly and ice cream, despite it taking an hour and a half to finish!

I was given strong pain killers and morphine on Tuesday night to help with the pain and to help me sleep. However I couldn't get comfortable and the noises on the ward kept me awake. Annoyingly, just as I was drifting off at 2am, a nurse came along to take my blood pressure, which woke me up again.

On Wednesday morning, I was taken down to the clinic to see the surgeon and orthodontist. Both were impressed with my progress, and the surgeon also told me that all 4 of my wisdom teeth (that I didn't know I had!) had also been taken out. The swelling had gone up again but that was to be expected. I had elastic bands fitted between my braces to move my bite into its final position and to hold my jaw in a fixed position, and was told I was going to be discharged later that day.

swelling on Wednesday morning

I was so relieved to be going home. I was tired and just wanted to be looked after by my mum. Hospitals are relatively lonely places, especially when everyone else on the ward is old enough to be your gran, and you are having relative difficulty in speaking. More than anything though, I wanted a shower! I visited Hollie on Wednesday evening, and it was lovely to see her. The rest of the evening was spent sleeping and taking pain killers. I certainly had no trouble sleeping that night!

swelling on Thursday morning | swelling on Friday afternoon

Since coming home, I haven't really been up to much, as the anaesthetic is still taking its toll, and as I'm not able to eat much, I have relatively little energy. The swelling had continued to go up until today, and now I think it is on the way down. I have developed a funky looking bruise under my chin and on my neck which looks as if I've gone overboard colouring in in yellow highlighter. Despite the pain, discomfort, cravings for normal food and fatigue, I'm in pretty high spirits about everything, and am well on the road to regaining my confidence!

the past few days.

On Monday this week, my close university friend Gemma came up to stay with me for a couple of days. I hadn't seen her since leaving Sheffield 4 weeks ago, so it was lovely to have a good catch up, and she did a great job of taking my mind off my operation worries.

Fortunately, we had the weather on our side, which we decided to take advantage of. We went on a bike ride for a picnic at the beach (where I got sunburnt, even wearing factor 30!), have a BBQ, and I took her shopping to the fabulous Liverpool One (which probably doesn't have a patch on shopping in London, which she is used to, but I think it's heaven on earth!). We also went for some drinks with our other friend who lives nearby.

Overall, I have had the cutest couple of days, and I'm sad that Gem has gone home. I'm even more excited now to go down to London to stay with her after I have recovered. Love you Gem Gem! ♥

disneyland paris day 5

Thursday 20th June 2013

Front Lot, Walt Disney Studios



stroll along Main Street USA, Disneyland Park

our hotel

don't want to go home

disneyland paris day 4

Wednesday 19th June 2013

Palace of Versailles







we went up the eiffel tower in a thunderstorm!

Notre Dame (unfortunately, we didn't see Quasimodo)

getting the train back to Disney